Preaching Restoration While Practicing Exile: When the Church is Breaking Bad
- Keith Locke
- Mar 9, 2024
- 7 min read
Updated: Mar 16
The rise of public failures and why Christian community often cannibalizes their own or dishonors the victims amidst public failures.
In the aftermath of public failures within church communities, a troubling pattern often emerges. Rather than embodying the grace and restoration central to Christian theology, churches frequently "cannibalize" their own—sacrificing individuals on the altar of public perception while neglecting the deeper work of authentic healing and reconciliation.
The Cycle of Church Cannibalism
When a pastor, leader, or member falls into public sin or scandal, the institutional reflex is predictable. Distance is created. Statements are crafted. The person is removed—not just from their position, but often from the community itself. What follows is a sanitization process designed to preserve the church's reputation at all costs.
This pattern reveals a profound irony: institutions founded on grace often show little of it when their public image is threatened. The wounded person becomes collateral damage in the battle to maintain an unblemished reputation. The message sent is clear: our image matters more than your restoration.
As the Apostle Paul reminded the Galatian church: "Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted" (Galatians 6:1). This gentle restoration is often replaced with harsh exclusion, contradicting Christ's own example of pursuing the one who strays from the fold (Matthew 18:12-14).
The Fear-Based Response
Behind this pattern lies fear—fear of donor withdrawal, membership decline, or community judgment. These fears aren't entirely unfounded. Churches do face real consequences when leaders fail. However, when protection of image becomes the primary motivation, the church betrays its foundational values.
Scripture repeatedly calls believers to "fear not" and to trust God rather than human opinion. "The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe" (Proverbs 29:25). When churches prioritize human perception over God's redemptive purposes, they fall into this very snare.
This betrayal doesn't go unnoticed. Young people especially see through the hypocrisy of preaching forgiveness while practicing exile. Non-believers observe and rightfully question the authenticity of a faith that appears more concerned with appearances than with healing broken people. Jesus himself reserved his harshest criticism for religious leaders who "clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence" (Matthew 23:25-26).
The Biblical Case for Restoration
Scripture paints a consistent picture of God's heart for restoration. The prophet Ezekiel records God's declaration: "I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live" (Ezekiel 33:11). This divine preference for restoration over punishment should shape our ecclesiastical practices.
Jesus himself modeled this approach. When Peter denied him three times—a public failure of loyalty at the most critical moment—Jesus didn't exile him. Instead, he sought Peter out and gave him three opportunities to affirm his love, followed by a restoration to purpose: "Feed my sheep" (John 21:15-19). The failure was addressed, but it wasn't final.
The parable of the prodigal son (Luke 15:11-32) further illustrates God's restorative heart. The father doesn't merely tolerate the returning son—he celebrates his return and restores his position in the family. Notably, the elder brother's resentment represents the legalistic attitude that often pervades church responses to restoration.
A Better Way Forward
True restoration requires a fundamentally different approach—one that honors both justice and mercy. Here's what that path might look like:
1. Immediate Transparency and Accountability
When failures occur, churches must resist the urge to minimize, hide, or spin. Truth-telling is the essential first step. This means:
Acknowledging what happened without euphemism or deflection
Taking appropriate action to protect vulnerable parties
Involving outside, objective parties when necessary for accountability
Communicating clearly without violating privacy or confidentiality
"Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body" (Ephesians 4:25). The church's witness depends on its truthfulness, even when that truth is painful.
The early church modeled this transparency when Paul publicly addressed the Corinthian church about a case of sexual immorality in their midst (1 Corinthians 5). While the immediate consequence was removal from fellowship, the ultimate goal was restoration, which Paul addresses in his second letter (2 Corinthians 2:5-11).
2. Distinguishing Consequence from Rejection
Holding someone accountable for their actions isn't the same as rejecting them as a person. Churches can:
Remove someone from leadership while maintaining pastoral care
Establish appropriate boundaries while continuing relationship
Communicate that consequences reflect the seriousness of actions, not a withdrawal of love
Paul exemplifies this principle in his instruction regarding a church member who had fallen into sin: "If anyone does not obey what we say in this letter, take note of that person, and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed. Do not regard him as an enemy, but warn him as a brother" (2 Thessalonians 3:14-15). The key phrase—"not as an enemy, but as a brother"—highlights the continuing relational bond even amid necessary discipline.
3. Creating Restoration Pathways
True healing requires structure and process, not just sentiment. This means:
Developing clear, documented restoration processes before they're needed
Providing professional counseling and support resources
Creating small support communities for the person seeking restoration
Establishing reasonable timelines and milestones for healing
James writes, "Confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed" (James 5:16). This communal aspect of healing is essential—restoration happens in community, not in isolation.
The process also involves bearing one another's burdens (Galatians 6:2) and speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15)—twin pillars of any effective restoration process. Without both components, restoration becomes either enabling or crushing.
4. Honoring Those Who Have Been Wounded
In the rush to either condemn or restore those who have transgressed, churches often overlook the wounded—those directly harmed by the actions of the fallen leader or member. This oversight compounds the original injury and sends a devastating message: your pain matters less than either our image or the transgressor's restoration.
Jesus taught that if "anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). This stark warning emphasizes God's concern for the vulnerable and wounded. Any restoration process that minimizes or sidelines victims fails to reflect Christ's heart.
Practical Steps for Honoring the Wounded
A truly biblical approach must center the needs of those who have been harmed:
Listen first: Before rushing to restoration, churches must create safe spaces for victims to be heard without judgment or qualification. "Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry" (James 1:19).
Believe their experiences: Too often, churches dismiss or minimize reports of harm, especially when they involve respected leaders. Scripture calls us to "defend the cause of the weak and fatherless; maintain the rights of the poor and oppressed" (Psalm 82:3).
Provide tangible support: Beyond listening, churches should offer practical help—whether counseling resources, financial assistance, or other forms of care. "If anyone has material possessions and sees a brother or sister in need but has no pity on them, how can the love of God be in that person? Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth" (1 John 3:17-18).
Acknowledge the harm publicly: When harm has been public, the acknowledgment must be equally public. This isn't about shame but about truth-telling that validates the experience of those harmed. "Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness, but rather expose them" (Ephesians 5:11).
Involve the wounded in the restoration process: To the extent they are willing, those who have been harmed should have input into what genuine repentance and restoration looks like. Their perspective is essential to understanding the full impact of the wrong.
Recognize that reconciliation may not always be possible or advisable: While restoration of the transgressor to community may be a goal, reconciliation between wounded and wounder requires the free consent of both parties and may not always be appropriate. "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone" (Romans 12:18).
The story of David's sin against Bathsheba and Uriah demonstrates that even when God forgives (2 Samuel 12:13), consequences remain, and the harm to others is not simply erased (2 Samuel 12:14-15). True restoration acknowledges this reality rather than pressuring victims toward a premature "forgiveness" that serves the church's comfort more than genuine healing.
5. Modeling Vulnerability to the Watching World
Perhaps most countercultural is the opportunity for churches to demonstrate authentic community by:
Openly acknowledging that brokenness exists within their walls
Inviting the wider community to witness (appropriate aspects of) the restoration process
Speaking honestly about the church's own institutional failures
Demonstrating that strength is found in vulnerability, not image management
Paul modeled this vulnerability when he wrote of his own struggles: "Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst" (1 Timothy 1:15). His transparency about his past persecution of the church and his ongoing struggles (Romans 7:15-25) created space for authentic community.
Jesus taught that the church should be "a city on a hill" (Matthew 5:14-16)—visible to all. This visibility includes not just our strengths but how we handle our weaknesses. Our response to failure may be our most powerful testimony.
6. Breaking the Cycle
What makes this approach different is that it prioritizes healing over appearances. It recognizes that the most powerful testimony isn't perfection but authenticity. When churches respond to failure with grace-filled accountability rather than image-protecting exile, they embody rather than merely preach the gospel.
This isn't easy. It requires courage to face criticism from those who believe the church should project spotless perfection. It demands wisdom to balance accountability with compassion. It necessitates patience as healing unfolds in messy, non-linear ways.
But the alternative—continuing the cycle of cannibalism—carries a far greater cost. It creates graveyards of wounded former leaders. It teaches the next generation that appearance matters more than authenticity. And it presents to the world a Christianity where grace is preached but rarely practiced.
The most powerful witness may not be our perfection but our response to imperfection. When churches create spaces where broken people find both accountability and belonging, they offer the world a glimpse of what true community might look like—a community where failure isn't final and restoration isn't just possible but prioritized.
As Paul reminds us in 2 Corinthians 5:18-19, "All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself in Christ, not counting people's sins against them. And he has committed to us the message of reconciliation."
When churches choose the path of true restoration, they don't just reclaim fallen and wounded individuals—they reclaim their fundamental calling as agents of God's reconciling work in the world.
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